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1 year ago
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1 year ago
how life goes
  • Hmmm. bet your sat there complaining to your self how crap and pointless your life it? am i right? are you in one of them moods where you just want to curl up in a ball and cry? want to cry with someone cuddling you and telling you everything is going to be OK  well i want that to, but the truth is I’ve never had it.. i’m sick of watching other people be happy, sick of watching girls and boys cry because someone doesn’t like who they are, cry because their life isn’t perfect.. but lets be serious no one’s life is perfect, especially not mine.. not even what i was little .When your little your life is meant to be perfect, your parents; perfect caring parents that would do anything to make you smile when your little, always be there to make you smile when you feel over and cut your leg, be over the moon because you took your first steps.. Only tears they would shed is because you make them proud, made them proud that you called them mum or dad, or even that you said words that didn’t even exist, the truth is i never had that, from as long as i can remember my life has been perfect, but no matter what i have been though, i would never, ever change it for the world.. i know that maybe if i did a couple of things differently my life would be better, but then again i wouldn’t be who am i am today, and i probably wouldn’t be writing this now.. would i? nope  

 

  • never give up, try and try again until you succeed, try and try again? yep that’s what i have been doing all my life.. trying to forgive and forget but lets be serious some of the things i have experienced would be a million miles away from most people’s lives? even the world child abuse would never even be spoken of in a lot of people’s life times.. but its something i think about everyday, everyday of my life, why? because i was little i experienced it! when your 3 you don’t expect to be taken away from your dad for aggressive behavior but that’s what happened to me? To me, my mum and my sister But when i think, well if it never happened i wonder how things would of turned out? i wonder if my mum would still be here? wonder if i would of got the grades i got.. or even be the ‘strong’ person people tell me i am? hmm  So you get upset because one person that means nothing to you, called you horrible? called you a slag or a tart? hmm that’s bad isn’t it? what if your own dad said he didn’t care if you was alive or dead? That if your mum didn’t have a miscarriage you wouldn’t be there and to be honest he didn’t care? how would you feel if you saw your mum cry every day because every night your dad would drink and leave her with so many bruises she couldn’t go to work because of the state his fists left her in? is that right? that such a beautiful woman, a woman with great respects who had great ambitions in life should feel so worthless that she stopped fighting to get away from a monster, a monster that locked the doors so she couldn’t leave, a monster that hit her in public but made up a million excuses so it wasn’t as if what he was doing was bad? the worst thing is.. is that the monster was my dad? the person i was supposed to love, the person who was supposed to protect us from everything, but instead was doing the opposite.. I’m sure dad’s are meant to help heal cuts and bruises but instead he was making them, he was meant to dry those teary eyes but instead he made them.. stop the bullying that people caused but no, he was the bully.. but even after everything he did i can’t hate him, can’t hate him for leaving me with mental and physical scars because at the end of the day there still memories and he’s still my dad, maybe i can’t call him my dad because he isn’t like my friends dad, but i know that one day he isn’t going to be here but i’ll still shed as many tears as i did for my mum….
1 year ago - 3 notes
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1 year ago
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